Genesis of Field Artillery

In the beginning, there was chaos, and the chaos was the
infantry, the queen of battle. However, the queen was alone.
And fear was with the infantry, so she cried out unto the
Lord saying, "Lord save me for I am afraid!"

And the Lord heard her grunts and set some of the infantry
on beasts of burden, and these he called the cavalry, and mounted
Infantry. And when the Lord saw what he had done, he was pleased.

But, as time passed, the infantry and the cavalry once again cried out
unto the Lord saying, "Lord save us, for we are afraid."
The Lord heard their cries and decided to end their weeping.

The Lord said unto them, "I shall send you a race of men noble
in heart and spirit." And thus the Lord created the Cannoneer.
Such stout, fearless men that they were, that he named them the
Field Artillery, and proclaimed them the King of Battle.

And the Lord said the infantry and cavalry, "When it is
dark, the King shall light your way. And when you need smoke,
there shall be smoke, and when you need it to rain down death and
destruction upon the enemy, you shall have it."

Thus the Lord gave upon the King, the power of lightning and
thunder. And when the infantry and calvary saw this, they fell to their
knees in awesome wonder, saying surely the Lord is on the side
of the King of Battle, And above all else, He made them alone of all
his creations able to count to 8 (or 11 in the Horse-Artillery).
Which however was unhelpful as the Lord rested on the 7th and left
it to the Artillery to finish the job as they alone could count to 8.

And the Lord said upon them to abide the lord, for he has created
the greatest of these, the field artillery. And the Lord was pleased.